Below lies my 4 day account in Paris starting very early Thursday morning. I have twitterised the first day in an effort to be more recognised as hip/with it/moving with the times. It was also a very very long day which you will see. Enjoy!
Thursday 26th May
3:45 AM Wake up. Bearings... at Wilson's. On couch. 1.5 hours sleep had. Shouldn't have eaten that Mc D's before bed.
4:00 AM On night bus towards Eurostar. Feeling pretty good. Surprisingly awake. Never seen London at this hour before. Quite nice
4:50 AM St Pancras International in good time. We see Candice waiting. Punctual. Good girl. She says I look like death. Points lost immediately. Hiruni & Nancy already on train. Some people may have waited for others. No Ninia yet, but there's still time. Train departs 5:25 AM.
5:15 AM Time all gone. Still no Ninia. Starting to get sweats. We are staying at her friend's place who is otherwise a stranger to us. Could end up on le streets.
5:20 AM Ninia arrives! Relief and disbelief combined... dis-rebelief. Word invented. Must call Collins. We board train. Drama puts us in state of amused hysteria. Wilson and I giggle like school girls.
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| Wilson (right, definitely right) & I on train. |
6:10 AM Word sent to Candice (seated 10 carriages away) that there are empty seats next to us, and that she should lug herself and her luggage here to keep us company.
6:30 AM Candice arrives, looking tired and beat from long uncomfortable walk through speeding train. I don't comment upon her appearance because I am nice.
6:40 AM Realise that seats she has just occupied are most definitely reserved by people at the next stop, and she'll probably be asked to vacate them and walk 10 carriages back with her stuff to her original seat. The thought of this makes me erupt out loud with laughter. I can't stop laughing.
6:50 AM Train stops. People board. Couple of guys point at the seats and comment to themselves. I try desperately to hold in laughter. They decide between themselves that the scene isn't worth the effort and go elsewhere. Candice is spared.
7:00 AM Go visit Hiruni & Nancy 2 carriages down. Hiruni is asleep. Get phone out to take picture but my presense stirs her to wake. Both girls happy and excited, especially Hiruni as she really likes le croissants & le chocolat & le bonbons & le creme brulee & le crepes & le cheese.
8:00 AM We arrive. Smiles all round. Step out of train to take in a whiff of expected freshly baked bread in air. Instead take in whiff of freshly expedited urine... or something very similar which stenches the underground. Its really really strong too. Where the hell is the Eiffel Tower? Shouldn't we be able to see it from the streets? Maybe we're in Germany.
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| Where are we? |
9:00 AM Heading towards Hiruni and Nancy's accommodation and stop for breakfast on the way. Would kill for a coffee. Cappuccino costs €6. Decide I might have to kill for the coffee. Settle for tap water & ham omelet, which is a salty rank mess. Eat it anyway.
10:00 AM We drop off our bags at Hiruni and Nancy's abode. It is cosy studio apartment which has a double and single fold-out. I wonder to myself if they will split or share in sleeping arrangements. It reminds me of this movie.
10:30 AM We set off again for a proper street walk and explore. We stop at delicatessen for another attempt at a coffee. Cappuccino again expensive. I settle for a cheaper espresso. Its actually pretty good.
11:00 AM Further exploring as we walk past the Louvre towards parks. Ninia, in her blessed innocence, reminds me of a joke I played on Candice in a shared email chain between us all. The joke was a reference to the Louvre and how I remarked in the email that Candice had a lifelong ambition to visit the place (when in fact she had a week earlier revealed to me she had never heard of it). Not knowing me (or the pretense of the comment), Ninia took it at face value and enthused upon arrival that we had to make sure we visited the Louvre for Candice's sake. Candice, given no real choice, matched Ninia's enthusiasm in agreement while shooting a glare at me. I kept my mouth shut but had to walk away back-turned in stitches. It cost me a couple of punches to the arm, but Candice's biceps were drained from carrying her bags down 10 train carriages earlier, so it didn't hurt. To be fair Candice made good insightful comments about Notre Dame later in the day, which I didn't even realise was in Paris, but I kept that ignorance to myself. Proud expert fool.
11:30 AM Enter park for nice scenery. The French, opting for aesthetic, have laid dusty white pathways all along the way. Wind kicks up dust into whirling storms. Gets everywhere. Feels like Iraq.
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| Paris, unlike the movies. |
12:00 PM Girls starving, so we stop to feed them. Pick a place where an old French man stares at Hiruni the whole time. Eyes don't shift once. She adds another to her tally. Respect.
1:30 PM Candice, Wilson, Ninia & I, part ways with Nancy & Hiruni temporarily to meet with Ian (whose place we are staying at), and get the keys. Nice bloke, who shows us around his tidy little 1 bedroom & living space for which we are incredibly grateful. Candice, Wilson and I wait in separate room whilst Ian and Ninia chat in the other. Candice knocks over something on the floor, making a large crashing sound. We cringe, but thankfully it is just some of his toiletries, and she fixes it up as it goes unnoticed.
3:00 PM We get some supplies and sleep. I curl up sideways on the bed which everyone thinks is strange. Their faces are strange... (expression borrowed by way of ownership RE: Aditi & Hiruni)
5:00 PM We wake up again to meet Hiruni & Nancy in town for dinner. Head towards Arc de Triomphe. Think Arc de Triomphe is the coolest sounding thing in French. I repeat it a few times. Yeah it's pretty cool. Very impressive site too. Stands firm and massive in the middle of a chaotic, no rules roundabout. A monument amongst madness. We wait for Hiruni & Nancy under the arch.
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| Ninia, Candice & Yohei at the Arc de Triomphe. |
5:25 PM No sign of the girls who have probably stopped for a buffet somewhere. It is very very cold so we make tracks to the Eiffel Tower, which is just barely visible over the tops of other buildings. Such a shame. I txt the girls our plans.
7:00 PM Walk to Eiffel takes longer than anticipated but we finally arrive. Having been disappointed by its apparent non-existent presence in the city, I am now impressed. It is a funny brown colour, but otherwise as magnificent as it should be. There are a lot of peddlers selling souvenirs just off site. We see some get chased by French Police. Reminds me of the French Connection. We contemplate going up but decide to save it for a possible sunset opportunity the next day. Our aching legs influence this decision heavily.
8:00 PM We decide to find a place for dinner while we wait for the girls. We walk left through a nearby small park and find a Bar/Bistro type place that suits our budget (cheap). Hiruni & Nancy arrive at the Eiffel and go back to escort them to the eatery.
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| The boys at the Eiffel, finally... |
8:30 PM After studying the menu our decisions are made. Wilson wants the lamb, Ninia picks the chicken, Nancy & Hiruni go for Omelets and Candice & I go for the duck. Everyone orders in English apart from Hiruni who likes to show off. I request Candice's order on behalf of her because it is the same and because I am nice. We wait in anticipation. This should be good.
8:50 PM Our courses arrive. One lamb, one chicken, two omelets and a couple of hotdogs... a couple of hotdogs? Candice & I, in fact the whole table, stare at our hotdogs quizzically. Maybe this is the duck? Candice insists it isn't the duck. I see the sausage in the middle of the bun. She is right, it isn't the duck.
"Pardon, monsieur?" somebody says "We ordered the duck?"
"Oui." the waiter replies "The hot-dug?"
We realise the error and explain the mis-communication. I can tell the waiter doesn't believe me for a second and thinks I am having him on. I tell him I'll eat mine but Candice needs her duck or she will go sepo. He says no problem, but still does not believe me. The wait staff now all hate me, and this hot-dug has a damn amount of cheese on it.
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| The duck I wanted... |
9:20 PM Close to meal completion. Feel a bit queasy from cheese-sausage overdose. I gaze casually towards the kitchen. A mouse scurries from under a cabinet into the middle of the floor. It stands there having a look around quite pleasantly. I toss up whether to tell people during their dinner or not. I decide I need the image confirmed. I announce it to the table who indeed look and confirm its presence. Cheese begins to churn in my belly.
"Would anyone like dessert?" the waiter asks.
"No, we'll just have the bill thanks."
The waiter smiles, and leaves.
9:35 PM We repeat the request but ask for the cheque. It arrives... It's the small things.
10:30 PM We arrive back at our stay. Candice puts Tangled on the laptop. We sit too tired to protest. We have small quick showers in turn. Shower mechanism is challenging. Hose with plastic sheet. Shower mechanism is challenging.
NEAR MIDNIGHT Realise the joys of again sharing a slightly smaller than double bed with Wilson. Too tired to care. Both have sleeping bags which are fairly secure body protection devices. Calculate in my head that I have now spent more side-by-side sleep time with Wilson than anybody else in the last few ... ... ... my god the end of that sentence just dawned on me. How have I not jumped a cliff by now? Or thrown myself into magma? I should be on a streetcorner with a sign and bucket collecting coins... maybe thats what I'll do when I get back to London
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| ... we only share beds... honest... |
For those of you still skimming, the rest of the trip will follow as per my usual trivial monologue.
Friday morning mission was for the 2nd best bakery in Paris that Wilson had previously been too. We found it and it did not disappoint. Had one of the best croissants there I have ever had. It had this light and sweet tasty glaze which just lifted it to another level. Ninia bought these lovely little macaroons there which elicited an exceptional reaction from Candice (one of many in the coming day). Upon tasting one she literally stopped on the street saying "oh my god" in a full state of ecstatic tremble. She almost had to take a knee it was so overwhelming. The rest of us agreed it was quite a performance. She soon followed this up with another display of emotion beyond her control, when we came past a gelato store. This time it was more a ravenous frenzy as she pressed her face against the fridge glass going from flavour to flavour. That mind you, was only half as instinctual and amazing as the way she took to it, once in hand. I likened it to something Darwin might have seen visiting the Galapagos Islands, in watching a species evolved so perfectly to a particular task/habit over millions of years. In the blazing heat, she didn't spill or lose a drop of it, whilst the rest of us ended up with sticky fingers. Okay, enough picking on Candice,.. for now.
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| Liking her Gelato... but it was nearly her last... |
We next went to Notre Dame (mentioned earlier). Big Cathedral with candles to light for people inside (at a cost). I was more impressed by the statuette outside of some wicked wizard guy with a staff on a horse with bodyguards. He was like a super Gandalf or something. Ninia & Wilson had French Open Tennis to see after that, so Candice & I decided to give the Eiffel Tower another go.
A walk to the Eiffel tower should in theory be a relatively simple, calm, relaxing affair. It was what I was expecting, what I was hoping, I mean its Paris right? Never any dramas. Half-way there however, there was an incident. The both of us walking along, approached a traffic light crossing. Not exactly a foreign or unusual setup, the rules of which across most cultures are generally the same. You approach, stop, look, listen, look both ways, wait for the green man (don't think there are woman ones), and proceed forward. Candice had other ideas and skipped on ahead. In an instant reflex (think Superman), I grab her with my arm fully outstretched and yank her back, just as a speeding truck flies by. She was half a second away from being a passerby stain in Paris. I was almost whitened by the fright of it all, so took a minute to zen out. She thought it was kind of funny. Near death, kinda funny. After I cursed it out in my head a few times, I was ready to move on. She did thank me for saving her life which I guess was nice. I would've preferred an "I owe you one." for the back pocket. I can use an "I owe you one." For e.g. "Remember that time I saved your life and you said you owed me one?" ...
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| Can't jump from here... |
After going through the road-cross routine a few times, we walked through some markets where we saw cheap cherries at €4.99 per kilo, so we got 800grams worth and sat in the reserve beforehand and ate them all before the climb. For those that don't know, cherries as good as they are, are not pre-stair walk food prior to attempting one of great magnitude, and getting up to the second platform (the furthest you can walk up the Eiffel) is indeed a climb of great magnitude. I couldn't believe how unfit I was going up. Was in all honesty, well short of puff after about 30 steps. I was imagining the height to be more of an obstacle, but it was the fatigue that got to me the most. We eventually made it to the first, and second levels and enjoyed the view which was great. The day was clear enough and we could see right across Paris in all directions. I could see why many couples (like one of my cousins) go, or are taken there to be proposed too. If Hiruni was there she would've wanted to hold hands and stare into each others eyes. The sunset was also unbelievable too... not that we saw it. Candice was starving so we went down before it happened and got some dinner. It was a once in a lifetime chance sure, but tummies were rumbling. We met up with all the others for dessert which was agreeable.
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| Le Eiffel Tour at night... Tower is Tour in French I think |
Saturday was Louvre day, and thanks to some good advice from Chris, we took the underground to right underneath the Louvre to the entrance there, and completely bypassed all the queues. The Louvre itself is huge. Colossally spread, there's no chance of conquering it in any such time as a day, so we measured our approach. Of course the first thing we went to see was the Mona Lisa. It was funny to see the crowds that surrounded her. You really did have to beat your way through to get up close. When I got as close as I could, I stared straight at her. I could tell by her smile she was pleased to see me. It was actually a strange thing to be part of the mob around such a small, seemingly ambiguous canvas. All around her there were these big biblically dramatic depictions, yet simple Mona had all the attention, but that's how life should be. We spent another 3-4 hours at the Louvre just wandering and looking around. One thing I found a little frustrating as a tourist was I couldn't read the French summaries for each piece. Kind of felt I was just looking at stuff without any given knowledge (cause I don't have any) to engage. Sure I could've got an audio guide, but that costs good beer money. Also, I have never seen so many Jesuses and marble/stone penises in my life. They have quite the collection. Every second artifact was one or the other. I felt like the latter was getting so ingrained, that if someone threw me a rock, I could chip it into the shape of a male appendage without a thought or a blink. Still appreciated the phenomenal place that it was, but those were my overriding thoughts.
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| Even the girl with Drop Dead on her back has time for Mona |
In the afternoon I led us on a successful hike towards the Latin Quarter, where we would eventually watch the European Champions Leauge Final. We stopped for dinner at this place called Sushirama which you would think with that name, had disaster written all over it, but was actually top notch. Such good quality Sushi at such reasonable pricing, it reminded me of one of the things I had missed since leaving home. Afterwards, we found a good pub, after a few attempts, and watched the Champions League Final unfold. I had a Man Utd vs Barca bet with Candice which Messi and Xavi made sure I lost but it was still cool.
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| Wilson checking out his Sushi at the Rama. |
Later that night back at the place, Candice displayed her third uncontrollable emotional fit in the space of a day, this time in laughter form. Bored and tired, we were casually looking through my previous works on youtube, when I played my award winning 24Hour Movie Marathon 2009 clip. From the very first frame of my face appearing she just about lost it. She paused it straight away and just rolled around laughing. The rest of us couldn't really understand what was going on. But she couldn't stop. When it continued and the gorilla appeared plus my lines of Japanese dialogue this continued. Again it had to be paused to allow her to find some composure. I mean it was made to be funny sure, but not that funny. By the time the clip was eventually finished I was sure she had permanently scarred her lungs. It was the single biggest effect my work has ever had on another human being.
Sunday was my last day, and one shared at the French Open with the girls (Hiruni, Nancy and recently arrived Sonal). Always liked tennis without being a huge fan. Felt that it was maybe a sport I may have been good at if not been football and cricket mad. We had ground passes for Roland Garros which only got us in the annex courts but I still enjoyed it. You could pretty much get court side with the players there, which was an amazing vantage point to experience it. I arrived on time, so went in by myself to watch some of the womans single matches. I enjoy the womans game quite a bit because not only do you get the quality of the sport and the contest etc, but some of those girls are absolutely stunning. The way the game is I think, shapes their bodies into these unbelievable athletic figures, and in action it is quite an eclipse. The games for mine, tend to be a bit more interesting too, with rallies lasting a bit longer than the mens. When the girls got to the courts, they were more keen on the men's doubles (4 for the price of 2), so to keep the peace, we went and watched them. It happened to also be the hottest day in Paris by far and I actually got a t-shirt sunburn (which will take me about 10 years to tan away in London). Hiruni and Sonal were particular passionate about their tennis so it was cool to sit and watch with them.
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| This photo just dying to be part of a caption contest |
After that it was pretty much time for home so I left and met up with Wilson at our Eurostar, who had been carrying my heavy suitcase around for me all day. I shouted him a Mc D's meal for that, which came with a beer and made him happy enough. Just being in Paris for the four days was by far, plenty happy enough stuff for me.
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